Connection & Communication
“Bedtime is often experienced by children as a form of separation, so children need the reassurance of connection to help them let go and sleep well. It’s also a time of day when feelings tend to bubble up that haven’t been processed in the day, so for positive parents, it’s actually one of the most important times of day.”
Bedtime is the best time to connect with your children. I know it’s probably one of the most difficult ones, because by the time bedtime comes around, your energy levels are extremely low and all you want to do is get it over with, sit back and relax.
However, positive parenting at bedtime is an investment on your relationship with your child and on his emotional wellbeing. Every night, when you tuck your child into bed and wish them a good night, you have a unique opportunity to connect with her and make her feel your love. This connection will also help erase any uncomfortable parenting moments from the day, any conflicts with your child, or any tension.
I must confess that since my third daughter was born, my bedtime routines haven’t been as good as they were when I only had the twins. They are more rushed than I’d like to, and some days I don’t have the time or energy to do everything I love to do with them at bedtime. But, this month, I am focusing my energy on getting back on track on connected and soothing bedtimes, because I know the tremendous impact it has on my children’s mood and desire of cooperation.
My recommendation is to communicate with your child at bedtime. With babies, it will be a unidirectional communication, you will talk to them about your day, about what they did, about what’s coming the next day… With older kids who can actually maintain a conversation, it will be a bidirectional exchange. You can tell them about your day, ask them about their day, check how they’re feeling… You share and they share.
Bedtime is a time to listen to our children’s feelings, deepest fears and worries, whether directly in conversation, or indirectly, through our child’s behavior. So, don’t miss this opportunity!
One very special thing that I do every night with my daughters, is to sing them the same song since they were little, as I cuddle with them. For one of them is ‘Twinkle, twinkle”, for other is “You are my sunshine”, and for the other one, surprisingly is the “ABC song” in English and Spanish.
How do you connect with your children at bedtime?
Much love, Diana-